The Mail Room
by Bisepadi
Summary: A collection of letters as written and disseminated by everyone's favorite cast of shinobi. Set after the deaths of titular characters, Naruto and Sasuke. Welcome, one and all, to Konoha's postal service! Warning: Slow reveals


A/N: All correspondence takes place several years after Shippuden.

Deal with it

…

Dear sister,

It's raining outside as I write this letter. A steady pounding downpour that seems to be becoming more and more frequent as the season winds down.

You'd think this would mean Neji would know what's good for him and stay indoors.

Unfortunately, I have concluded that in the testosterone-driven world of the male species, 'macho sensibilities' will always trump good clean common sense.

He and his teammates are down one of the clan's spare training grounds right this moment; executing back flips, unleashing monolithic weapons, chanting inane mantras and generally ruining perfectly good real estate.

Luckily, the clan can sustain the expense (not to mention the spectacle it offers on forlorn days such as this) It gives the younger generation a standard to aspire to, the older hope for the future and a offers up a thriving betting business on the side

Neji has grown so much, big sister. At times, I hardly recognize him. It would seem I have to reconcile myself with the notion that I might not recognize you when next our paths cross. Permit to be selfish, but I pray that you do not change too much…

So much has transpired since we last corresponded.

Of course, you remember Konohamaru, the Third's grandson. It would seem he finally earned the right to his grandfather's summon, though not before the two of them exchanged bruises and philosophical doctrines for all of four days straight. Lee assures me it was quite the spectacle. My short visit to the arena to watch some of it go down only served to reaffirm my staunch belief that testosterone really is the primary cause of all the World's problems.

Ino and Choji are an item now. The only people surprised by that development appear to be the happy couple. I guess love really is blind.

Shikamaru's incessant smoking is giving the hokage several stress ulcers. Their rather one-sided arguments are quickly becoming the stuff of legend. The honourable hokage is rumoured to have a veritable library of sharp retorts, barbed comments, and caustic reprimands reserved just for him.

Kiba's nin dog, Akamaru, is now the proud father to a beautiful litter of puppies. The way Kiba narrates the tale has the majority of the shinobi populace confused as to exactly which of the two is the actual father.

Shino is cultivating a new colony after his queen fell to a kirinin with a penchant for explosive jutsu. I wish I could remark with some authority as to the state of his emotional wellbeing, but no one has seen a lick of him for the last five days. The hokage had been seriously considering commissioning a search party to look for him before Shino's father had a word with her behind sealed doors. One can only guess at what he had to say, but the search was eventually called off.

That, dear sister, is but a glimpse into the world back here. But enough about that…

How are you?

I never did believe one could be as frustratingly vague as you were in your last letter.

Where are you? Moreover, who is this mysterious personality you say has claimed you for his student? Are you staying abreast with your Jyuuken? I need to know these things…

Answers would be preferred over riddles in your next correspondence.

Yours forever,

Hyuuga Hanabi

18th Clan Head of the House of Hyuuga.

P.S: The ezu doll you sent was deliciously exquisite. It also gave me a clue as to exactly which corner of the world you were currently residing in when last you saw fit to alleviate my worry with a letter. Prize of my collection though it might be, I beseech you to be more careful next time. An absentee sister is better than no sister at all…

….

Reviews make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Attend me your thoughts, my brethren, that I may train my mind and sharpen my pen!


End file.
